Light at the End of the Tunnel
by 13luckystars
Summary: Brusnop. Ben and Danny find out some bad news, will this change how much they love each other?


Danny Worsnop had never felt a greater joy than the first time he had held his daughter in his arms. His loving husband, Ben Bruce, claims to this day that he had never seen his husband happier, not when they got married, not when they had sex(Danny's favorite activity), and not even when Ben had first told him he was pregnant. Some people might get jealous of how much Danny loved that little girl, but Ben loved her as much as Danny so he never felt jealous.

The boys' love for their little four year old, ginger haired and green eyed girl ran so deep that many parents described the two as overprotective. It was true that at times they were overprotective, but the doctors that had taken detailed reports of Ben's pregnancy and made the two take their daughter in for monthly check ups had told them from the beginning that, because she was born to a male, she may become deathly ill once born and die. The boys were worried enough that their angel could die that everything else in the world was just another threat. Both Ben and Danny were ready to give their lives for that little girl as long as it meant she would get to enjoy a long, happy life.

Sadly, somethings just don't happen the way people hope they will.

A few months before their daughter turned four, the couple took her in for a monthly check up in high spirits. They figured that because the past forty-four checkups had all had positive ending, this one would be the same. The doctors had always had smiled on their faces when they told them how good their daughter was doing.

"Daddy," the little ginger said, wriggling in Danny's arms.

Danny smiled at her. "What is it sweetie?"

She just pressed her small face against Danny's neck and hugged him as tightly as her little arms would let her.

Ben, watching the two, thought it was adorable and proceeded to check in with the nurse. "I'm Ben Worsnop, I'm here with my daughter for her appointment," Ben told the nurse standing behind the counter.

The nurse smiled. "I know you are. I'll take you to the room."

Ben nodded and waved Danny over so they could follow the nurse.

When Ben and Danny walked into the room it looked like every other one they had gone into for their little girl. The white walls were too white, the fluorescent lights were too bright, and the equipment was too intimidating. A long time ago, the doctor had decided they would just get right to the mandatory tests and skip the normal ones, like checking her weight, until a few appointments later. They decided they would still check it, just not every time they were there.

Danny put their daughter down and she immediately walked over to the table and sat down. She looked over at her parents with a big, proud grin, but her parents weren't as excited by the fact that she knew exactly what to do here without being told as she was. If the doctors didn't think she needed to be monitored, Ben and Danny would have been happier bringing her in here much less. They didn't want their daughter's earliest memory to be of going to the doctors and getting tests done.

When the doctor walked into the room, greeted them, and then walked over to their daughter, Ben and Danny shared a worried look.

"Maybe we should ask the doctor if we can start bringing her here every two or three months instead of every month," Danny whispered to Ben. "I don't like that she doesn't need to be told what to do when we walk in here."

Danny saw the same worry he was feeling reflected in Ben's green eyes. "I don't like it either, but what if she got a disease a month after one of her appointments but we didn't find it until a month later? That could be enough time to lose our baby," Ben said to Danny.

The boys looked over at their daughter to see her smiling. Even though a hospital is not where they wanted her to spend so much time, Ben and Danny couldn't say the doctors were ever mean to her or that they acted like they didn't care.

Over the next few hours, Ben, Danny, and their daughter were ushered to and from many different rooms each one holding equipment that were vital to the tests that needed to be performed. For some reason, Ben and Danny got the feeling this appointment was going to be different than the others. They hoped that it would turn out differently in a positive way, but just couldn't tell.

After the last test was conducted, the three were sitting in a room, awaiting the results of the first few tests. Ben and Danny had always thought that how the doctors did it was nice since they didn't have to wait days before knowing the results. Now, after they had gotten used to the idea of these checkups being only precautionary, they still thought it was nice, but didn't think the doctors had to necessarily rush.

"Mr. Worsnop," the tall, blading doctor addressed the two, looking a bit more grave than usual. "I am quite sorry to inform you that your daughter has obtained a brain tumor."

Ben and Danny couldn't believe what the man was telling them. He had to have the wrong people. There was no way that their little girl was the one with the brain tumor. This had to be someone else's nightmare.

"I-is it treatable?" Ben said while holding back sobs. He didn't want to break down before he knew all the details.

"The options for treatment aren't great," the doctor said, glancing over to where the four year old was playing gleefully. "Last month it was not detected, but over the last month is has grown significantly. If we leave it untreated she could live anywhere from a few days to a month. If she goes through surgery and we get it out, there is a big chance that she may not even make it through the surgery, but if we got it out, and she didn't die, she would have about a twenty five percent chance that she would continue on normally."

Throughout the doctor's explanation, Ben had all but broke down completely, and you could see tears falling from Danny's eyes. Ben had his face buried in Danny's chest while Danny held him tightly.

"If she didn't undergo the surgery, would she be in any pain?" Danny asked over the uncontrolled sobbing of his husband.

"If she isn't in pain now, which it doesn't seem that she is, she should not be."

Ben pulled up his head and looked up with bloodshot eyes at the doctor, "What's the chance that she'll survive if we choose the surgery?"

The doctor looked at Ben like he really did not want to answer that question. "It's very low Mr. Worsnop," he said carefully.

"I know you have a number. What is the fucking chance that she will survive?" Ben shouted at the young doctor.

"There's about a ten percent chance."

Ben immediately started sobbing again so Danny wrapped his arms around him. The doctor, looking a bit nervous from Ben's sudden outburst, decided it best for him to leave the two alone.

After a few minutes, Ben and Danny's daughter realized it was her father that was wailing and walked over to her parents.

"Daddy," she said, pulling on Ben's pant leg, "What's wrong?"

Ben looked down at the girl and picked her up to wrap his arms around her. "Nothing's wrong sweetie," he replied, trying to stop the tears.

The four year old looked at him with an odd expression, "Then why crying?"

Danny ran his hand through her ginger hair, making her attention switch from Ben to him. "Daddy's just feeling a little sad sweetheart."

"Why?"

"He just is baby."

Danny pulled her closer to him and kissed her little forehead. "Don't worry about daddy."

She decided to do what Danny said and just sat in her fathers' lap as they both cried.

That night, after putting their daughter to bed, Ben and Danny sat down at their kitchen table to make one of the hardest decisions the two would face.

"What should be do?" Ben asked Danny, looking and sounding helpless.

Danny pushed his palms against his eyes. "I don't know Ben, either way it sounds like she's only going to live another month."

"With the surgery at least she would have a twenty five percent chance that she would live past that one month expectancy."

"So do you want to go through with the surgery?"

"I don't know, there's also a high chance that she won't even make it through the operation," Ben said wanting to cry again.

Danny, knowing Ben's stress, took one of his husband's hands and kissed the back of it. "What should we do Ben?"

Feeling almost selfish, Ben whispered, "I don't want her to go through the surgery."

Danny nodded; he had been thinking that from the beginning but hadn't said anything since he wanted to know what Ben thought.

As much as it hurt them to, Ben and Danny called the doctor the next morning to tell him what they had decided. The doctor hadn't said his opinion and the boys were glad for that. In their minds the doctor agreed with their decision but a nagging voice told them that it really didn't matter to the doctor what they decided.

About two weeks after their decision, the pair walked into their daughter's room to wake her up but found her unresponsive.

Every single morning, Ben and Danny always walked into their daughter's room feeling happy to do so. Ever since the last doctor's appointment though, the boys had been terrified to go in. The doctor had never told them how the tumor would kill her but they had hoped that she would just go to sleep, that there would be no pain. It looked like they had gotten their wish.

When Ben had walked up to her bed and sat down, he had known there was something not quite right. He knew because she didn't move whatsoever there was something wrong. Ben gently rubbed her cheek with his knuckle and quickly noticed how cold her skin felt.

"D-Danny," he said, tears quickly falling down his cheeks.

Danny came up behind Ben, knowing by Ben's reaction what was wrong, and put his hand on Ben's shoulder. As Ben cried softly, Danny called 911, trying to hold back tears of his own.

The rest of that day was full of the boys filling out all kinds of paper work. They knew that they would have to tell the rest of the family, and plan her funeral, but they needed time before they go around to those things. Their families would want to come visit, to make sure that the two were okay, and they knew they wouldn't be able to deal with that just yet. Ben and Danny just wanted to be with each other first.

When they were getting into bed that night, Ben and Danny found it weird not having to read a story to a four year old giver before getting into bed. The two didn't do anything remotely seductive or sexual, which was quite a feat for the pair. They were feeling much too depressed to do anything pleasurable.

Once under the covers, Ben snuggled closely into Danny.

Danny wrapped Ben in his arms tightly, and let out a shaky sigh.

"Danny," Ben mumbled against Danny's chest, "Don't be mad at me."

Danny looked down at Ben like he was crazy. "Why would I be mad at you baby?"

"You swear you won't be mad?"

"Ben, I swear. What is it?" Danny asked frantically.

"I'm pregnant."

Since Ben had had his face pressed against Danny's chest, Danny had just barely heard what his husband had said. The words Ben had said hit Danny like a brick. They had just lost their daughter and here Ben was telling him he was pregnant. Danny didn't know whether to cheer or to cry.

Danny pressed his lips to Ben's forehead. "That's great baby."

Ben looked up at his husband, worry etched clearly on his face. "You're sure?"

"Of course."

Ben and Danny didn't say anything more after that, they didn't need to. They were both terrified of what might happen to their next child after what had just happened, but they were still quite happy.

Danny put his hand on Ben's still flat stomach and that's how they fell asleep that night.


End file.
